After a fractious few weeks for Facebook, which included congressional testimony from whistleblower Frances Haugen, the social-networking site announced on Thursday that its parent company would now be known by the name of Meta. “Together, we can finally put people at the center of our technology. And together we can unlock a massively bigger creator economy,” said creator and CEO Mark Zuckerberg, who owns the Twitter handle @meta and meta.com. Now technically, Facebook the social network platform will retain its name (as will other entities owned by, er, Meta, such as Instagram and WhatsApp). But as a person who came of age posting blurry college party photos to Facebook (decidedly not meta), the rebrand is too delicious an opportunity for commentary to pass up. I have thoughts, of course. Read all of them below.
- Let’s just get this Social Network joke out of the way: “Drop the Facebook. Just Meta. It’s cleaner.”
- Seriously, what was Zuckerberg thinking?
- Or perhaps more presciently, what team of running-sock-attired goons told him this would be a good way to get himself back into America’s good graces?
- “Over time, I hope we are seen as a metaverse company,” said Zuckerberg on Thursday, which…I don’t know what that means.
- I know this name change is part of an effort to move away from the domination of the social-networking side of things, but will my future children one day be making fake Meta profiles to catfish their middle school crushes?
- Other names the company could have considered: The Book. Facetown. The Place Your Mom Goes to Talk to Your Aunt. All of these ideas are free!
- Do the higher-ups at Facebook really think slapping a new coat of paint on this thing is going to save them?
- How are the boomers going to navigate this name change?!? Will nobody think of the boomers?!?
- I keep saying Meta to myself obsessively.
- Meta.
- Meta.
- Meta?
- Wherever Frances Haugen is right now, I hope she’s enjoying a rare steak, a cigar, and a good laugh.
